My Thoughts on True Blood: Epi 6

I apologize for getting this post up late. Last night as I was watching my episode on Demand, my stomach decided to wage war on me. My stomach is a punk ass bitch. Just saying... Anyway, if you are new to my blog - I recap each episode as I watch. It's very impractical and extremely random, but my blog, my rules. Now shall we? On to some True Blood antics!!

Side note: This episode I might add was not as choppy as most episodes usually are. Each story was shown in length - a good thing so that I could formulate a coherent thought before the show flashed to another character. Anyways, just saying that I enjoyed this week's True Blood. 

Episode 6: I Wish I Was The Moon

This week continues with last week's highlight, THE kiss. I have been waiting a long time for that kiss and I thought Alan Ball would never deliver. Yet, just when things become heated between Eric and Sookie, Bill barges in and arrests Eric. When Sookie confronts Bill back at his mansion, I have to admit I felt sorry for Bill. Though I'm not Team Bill, Stephen Moyer is handsome and there are definitely moments where we see that gorgeous face of his peek through - for me, it's in his eyes. But, in a comedic sort of way, we then follow Eric to his chamber and look who his cell mate is: Pam!! Poor thing is desperate to convince Eric to avenge and I have to admit her speech is pretty hysterical, "killing and fucking", but ultimately has no charm on Eric as he is firm that he was not a good person in his past, and will accept any punishment handed to him (panda sad). Then we see Bill skype his head honcho and the “True Death" is being recommended as punishment. Bill is back to being a dick.

Next, we see Arlene and Terry's apartment engulfed in flames and I honestly panicked for one moment for that evil baby. Then I see that the evil baby was sitting out in the yard, before the fire began. AHA! We finally are privy to what might be attached to the doll. Possibly another spirit that was a witch in her former life? But, as Sam tries to take in what has happened at his complex, Andie is cracking me up. I love how he called Sam a slumlord. Oh dear lord, Andie is asking out the forehead girl. "Sure, what the hell. Itza date!" But as Sam, calls Tommy to ask him to open Merlotte's so he can attend to his apartments, Tommy starts slapping himself so much so, that he shapeshifts shifts into Sam! I'm beginning to hate that hobbit.

Over in Mehicoooo, Jesus's grandfather has prepared tongue for our two boys on this family style road trip. Jesus explains that they need protention, and his grandfather obnoxiosly replies somthing about fucking pride and get me a sacrifice. PETA will not be happy with Alan Ball.

As Tara naps in her undies (which damn, girl does have an amazing body), is visited by her lesbian, UFC girlfriend. Tara comes clean about her past, and I can only imagine what someone would think. "I have a crazy mama that had a demon inside her, and then found Jesus. I was hypnotized by a Manead, ate heart, and my ex-boyfriend Eggs was shot by my childhood crush. Then I was kidnapped by a Vampire, raped repeatedly and had to escape by bashing his head in.... Oh and my best friend is a fairy. " Shit, is there more? What did I leave out?

So then we flash back to Merlotte's and little-hobbit-posing-as-Sam is having fun playing "big dog". He yells at Sookie and then fires her. (I have to admit, that part was a wee bit funny. Oh come on! How often is Sookie at work these days?!) Btw, I like how the hobbit walks as Sam, he sort of thrusts his penis forward, which then launches him a few steps. I digress. But, as he wanders over to Maxine's table, she unloads her real thoughts on Tommy. She's pretty cruel, but in all honesty... She's well, honest! Right now, Tommy is a shady character for me. I want to feel bad for him, but he just keeps getting himself into some deep doodoo.

At Jason's house, Sookie finds him cuffed to a bed. Sweet baby Jesus... You have no idea... But Jason confesses that he is turning into werepanther - "like a werewolf, but a big ass cat". Jason, I love you. That is all.

Oooh, we then flash over to Alcide's house and guess who's there. The pack leader, or Pooba (remember Fred Flinstone?) But of course, Debbie has decided to join the local pack then to follow her boyfriend's wishes. Frankly, Debbie is just straight crazy. Like a sick, crazy. Alcide needs to dump her ass.

Back at Bill's compound, we see the witch desperately trying to call out to the spirit to "use her". We then witness another a flashback and I honestly have to side with the witches on this one. Those ancient vampires were fucking cruel. But to carry that vendetta for hundreds, and hundreds of years. I don't understand. I guess if it happened to me, I'd be fucking pissed for a millennium!! Nobody feeds on me and then burns me at the stake!! And so she possesses Marnie's body and it's on like Donkey Kong!

Back to our boys. Jesus explains to Lafayette that he needs to find a sacrifice that will come to him. I thought they were shit out of luck, but a snake works. Jesus uses some mad ninja skills to grab a rattle snake... I am kind of loving Jesus these days. That boy will do anything to protect his boyfriend. Um, sexy!!

Then Sookie and Jason wait under the light of a soon-to-be, full moon having a conversation about being "a regular old, all american human". Jason is still awesome. I like how Jason understands that he's special because he's "extra good" at having sex and shooting. Yes, he is special, isn't he? But that little shit decides to wander off into the woods and you just know poor Sookie will go after him. Frankly, I would have been over it. Hell no, I ain't walking into those woods.

At Merlotte's, the happy lesbian couple decides to eat out and I had to laugh at all the hick patrons, turning their heads and staring... But suddenly their waitress, Jessica runs off like a bat out of hell... Or a cave that was disturbed by spelunkers. I guess we'll have to hold that thought.

Then fake Sam has sex with horse girl and then kicks her out. Hobbit is NOT winning brownie points with me.

Jessica finds Jason in the forest and convinces him that she will not let him turn alone. She stays by his side and it's apparent that she is no match for "Jason's charms". I see a little something, something happening between the two but it's admirable that Jessica tries to assure Jason that he will be alright and she's there if he needs him. Again, Jason is talking about the "special" and I'm getting concerned that Jason might have been riding the yellow bus back when he was little. (Btw, he doesn't turn. No big, ass cat for him.) In that same forest, Sookie is getting Shapeshifter 101 cliff notes from Alcide and Debbie who are on their way to a pack meeting. I swear on my grammar book, those woods are the freaking creepiest woods of I've ever seen. I'm sure if Sookie kept wandering, she would have encountered Sasquatch because she's thermin (Get it? Thermal heat! Whatever!!), and probably the Blair Witch. Moving on!!

Bill is about to deliver the "True Death" to Eric... I HATE YOU BILL COMPTON!! Eric's final words are actually beautiful. "The vampire I use to be is a stranger to me.... I was born the night she found me. I went to my true death knowing what love is." Or something like that. I'm starting to wonder if I even want the old Eric back.

Yikes, then we are back to "Hencho in Mexico" and Jesus gets bitten by a snake and Lafayette temporarily gets possessed by Tio Luca, speaking spanish and healing Jesus from the effects of the snake bite. Thanks fucking grandpa!! This road trip sucked ass!!! What the hell was that all about? Protection from who? Oooohhh! I wonder if Jesus will take on Marnie's spirit! I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Next, is what I call a triple scoop of awesomeness: Sam finds Tommy passed out in a pool of vomit. Oh snap! And Tara and her girlfriend are making out at Merlotte's and Pam shows up. Oh double snap! Then possessed Marnie gets the vampire, that is actually Father Louie (from the flashbacks) to get down on his knees using the high horns. She just called him a little fuck! Oh triple snap!

And we end with Eric alive and well because his final words did have impact on Bill and deep inside, I think it was all for Sookie's sake. Finding Sookie in the woods, they make love. Um, a lot of shit happens in these woods!! Wait, back up. Not only have Eric and Sookie kissed, but they have done the dirty, dirty... Literally, like in the dirt in those festered woods. But, again... ERIC AND SOOKIE HAD SEX!!! This needs to be on CNN. I mean, pronto!! Where was the press release for this information?

Outstanding episode!! Loved it. Now here's a preview from next week's epi.

Ep. 43 – Preview